tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53712252011-04-22T00:22:07.471-04:00This is a blog from the mind of comedian Dan Newbower. <br> I like pasta and don't you forget it!<br>Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comBlogger651100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-31718012918795911152009-03-18T16:46:00.002-04:002009-03-18T16:49:44.792-04:00

APOLOGIES ALL AROUND!I accidentally (I by that I mean I was accidentally very lazy) forgot to renew my homepage domain. I have renewed it now, but in the meantime, my fabulous website www.dannewbower.com that nobody visits anyway is down, but it shall rise again because I have already thrown money at the problem and renewed!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1168376980246681352007-01-09T16:07:00.000-05:002007-01-09T16:09:40.256-05:00

CHECK OUT MY NEW WEBSITE!!!!!!www.dannewbower.comThanks to Mike for getting this going so fast. Boo to Max for not, but I still love the guy. Hooray for snickers!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1158094276832964262006-09-12T16:31:00.001-04:002006-09-12T16:51:16.866-04:00

Hey y'alls. I know you are dying for an update on my fantastic and exciting life...Well, the big update is that I will be re-designing this website! Oh my dear lord what an amazing event. I'm sure it will be written about in the New York Times and discussed endlessly on Access Hollywood, but you heard it here first, folk-a-roonies. New website coming. What brought on this momentous and

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1158093830401312882006-09-12T16:31:00.000-04:002006-09-12T16:43:50.446-04:00

Hey y'alls. I know you are dying for an update on my fantastic and exciting life...Well, the big update is that I will be re-designing this website! Oh my dear lord what an amazing event. I'm sure it will be written about in the New York Times and discussed endlessly on Access Hollywood, but you heard it here first, folk-a-roonies. New website coming. What brought on this momentous and

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1153327633237680622006-07-19T12:24:00.000-04:002006-07-19T12:49:02.193-04:00

I'm on Howard Stern!Sort of... I'm on Howard Stern TV... kind of... OK, I'm on Howard Stern InDemand Television:Howard Stern InDemandIt is Howard Stern's TV Network. I made a film for the Howard Stern Film Festival (been a die hard fan of the show since I was a kid) and they showed a portion of my film at the film festival itself and have now put my entire film on the InDemand channel.It is

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1152555417191074522006-07-10T14:15:00.000-04:002006-07-11T10:37:02.373-04:00

I'm On MYSPACE now!Request me as your myspace friend and hopefully keep up with my goings on. I will try to be better about it than I am about this horrible blog that I never ever update.Here is the address:http://www.myspace.com/dan_newbower

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1144264170651507662006-04-05T15:05:00.000-04:002006-04-05T15:09:30.660-04:00

MY BESTEST FAN NO LONGER!I have been removed from my fan's myspace... see below if you are confused. I had a good run though. All I can say is that it was an honor and a privilege, Ms. Scala.I have a feeling somebody must have finally asked her why on earth she wanted to meet me, and that she realized that I was no Vince Vaughn after all...Such is life.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1140623108000080072006-02-22T10:39:00.000-05:002006-03-02T16:55:53.756-05:00

MY BESTEST FAN EVER!!!I have the bestest fan ever. Why? Because in the "People I'd Like to Meet" section of her Myspace page (on the right, right above the photo of the guy from House), you will find a familiar name sandwiched between Mathew McConaughey and Vince Vaughn...What I did to deserve to be listed amongst such, well, A-LIST SEX SYMBOLS, I may never know. But I have caught myself making

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1138311315493272922006-01-26T16:18:00.000-05:002006-01-26T16:35:15.503-05:00

I'm gonna be on NY1 again tomorrow. Same time and place... 9:00 PM "The Call". The last I did it was a blast, so I'm looking foreward to it. I just hope I can say something a little funnier than last time (I was not really familiar with the format, and I had some rookie jitters). Needless to say, if you've been wondering what old Dan Newbower has to say about this week's regional news, tune in

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1134062055715754112005-12-08T12:04:00.000-05:002005-12-08T12:14:15.723-05:00

I'm going to be on telivision tomorrow. Tune in to The Call on NY1 (it's like CNN for the nation that is New York City). I think it is at nine. I guess people can call in and stuff. I am supposed to be funny about the news...Host: So, Dan, how about that bipolar, mentally ill guy who got shot to death on that plane because he said he had a bomb?Me: Ha! He sure was a real laugh riot!Host:

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1133905769662433942005-12-06T16:41:00.000-05:002005-12-06T16:49:29.663-05:00

Vegas again. Good lord. The place is heaven on earth. If anything interesting happens to me in between my trips to Vegas, I'll be sure to let you know. Other things I'm working on: A Pilot. Two Screenplays. Standup.See, it is boring.Back to Vegas... I elbowed a Backstreet Boy in the gut. I have waited years to say this. It finally happened. He was in my way in a crowded nightclub, and I

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1124382087030380962005-08-18T12:15:00.000-04:002006-02-22T10:46:01.880-05:00

VEGAS!!!!!Holy crap is that place fun. Special shout out to My brother for turning 30 so I could go.My lord, it was fun. I now have a chest infection though. Combination of no sleep and airplanes.I did have one bad experience in Vegas... at the Excalibur Hotel's Round Table Buffet. Here is the review I wrote of my meal at ratevegas (like the third one down):http://www.ratelasvegas.com/buffets/

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1114119172122596402005-04-21T17:32:00.000-04:002005-04-21T17:32:52.123-04:00

For all my Boston homeslices... I will be doing the weekend at the Comedy Studio in Harvard Sqaure. www.thecomedystudio.com Showtime is 8:00 PM both Friday and Saturday. Also, to prove that I have the greatest girlfriend in the history of the entire world, she just sent me this email: ">We should try off track betting sometime....it looks > like fun."

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1112732363860964432005-04-05T16:10:00.000-04:002005-04-05T16:19:23.860-04:00

Hey alls, I think I may be doing Pianos this sunday and Riffifi next Friday April 15th. Please come by. Other than that, I had a trainwreck VH1 audition, and was in my friend's music video which should be out by early may and I will update you then. I have been eating a lot of fish that I caught myself when I was Florida. I will be eating prok chops tonight. I have gotten a little bit fat.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1106863307651853202005-01-27T17:00:00.000-05:002005-01-27T17:01:47.650-05:00

Hey alls! I'll be up in Boston this weekend (Jan 28th and 29th), and while there I'll be doing two shows at The Comedy Studio in Harvard Square. Come buy me some chicken fingers! www.thecomedystudio.com

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1103046331659749822004-12-14T13:44:00.000-05:002004-12-14T12:45:31.660-05:00

LOOK AT ME I AM WRITING A NEW POST! This blog is no longer dead. No longer rotting away like some festering rotting rotter. It is up to speed and ready for action. With that said, that is all.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1094567288280366152004-09-07T10:23:00.000-04:002004-09-07T10:28:08.280-04:00

WOW!! What a great vacation. I was all over the place. I don't think I had a minute to myself. I got to go to the Hamptons, Fire Island, and Boston. I was even tan (but now I'm not). I had two great shows in Boston, and one was really great. It was the final show of the Regattabar Summer Comedy Series. It was a competition that I put together and hosted and boy did everyone come to play.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1092407511500028392004-08-13T10:30:00.000-04:002004-08-13T10:31:51.500-04:00

FRUCKIN A!!! My pictures dissapeared again as yet another free hosting site went out of business. I'll have to re-load them all again. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! And they are all on the computer at my old apartment. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRHRHHHHHHHHHAHAHAH. So friggin pissed. UUUUUUURRRGHHHH!!!!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1092407191251851292004-08-13T10:23:00.000-04:002004-08-13T10:26:31.250-04:00

More press for my Regattabar Summer Comedy Series! This is a nice article about the boys who wil star in tomorrow's show: my good pals Chris and Dave Walsh. Also appearing: The Hazzards! They are awesome and had a hit dance single in England and are sweet fine ladies to boot! Here is the article: COMEDY NOTES Brothers have a tough act to follow -- themselves By Nick A. Zaino III, Globe

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1091642800056148582004-08-04T14:05:00.000-04:002004-08-04T14:06:40.056-04:00

Not dead, just busy. Carry on.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1089390853508932772004-07-09T12:26:00.000-04:002004-07-09T16:28:13.566-04:00

OK Peeps! I'm back from Boston and have tons of pictures of my fishing and of other things. But I don't have time to put them up yet so, tonight, please go to the world famous and world class Regattabar Jazz Club in The Charles Hotel in Cambridge to see the 8:00 PM showing of Underdog the Comedy Tour featuring Eugene Mirman (Conan, HBO, Comedy Central), Demetri Martin (Letterman, Conan,

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1088708066946557882004-07-01T14:52:00.000-04:002004-07-01T17:12:26.263-04:00

I'm fishing on saturday and already Larry is making fun of me. I sent him the below to prove I am the best fisherman on earth. He proceeded to violate my image with photoshop... and... And then he just threw away the theme completely...

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1088629730021626992004-06-30T17:03:00.000-04:002004-06-30T17:08:50.020-04:00

The bastards at pix8.net stopped allowing free image hosting so all of my wonderful Amsterdam pictures and my fishing photo are broken and I am UPSET! I was hoping that these pictures would have a home here for the rest of my life and perhaps for the next several thousand years so that future people could realize that I AM and angler and that I AM a world traveller just like I have been SAYING

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1088172024377969592004-06-25T09:55:00.000-04:002004-06-25T10:00:24.376-04:00

Hey Neato! I was in the Boston Globe for probably the ninth time, but it is still exciting! And it is some great press for the comedy series this summer. And to think, I actually trumped an interview with THE Alonzo "Hamburger" Jones. Yes THE Alonzo "Hamburger" Jones. Yes, the one that uses the word "Hamburger". Here is the article (and if this is very not legal please, somebody, let me

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1088109250706105462004-06-24T16:31:00.000-04:002004-06-24T16:34:10.706-04:00

I'm not coming to Boston until next weekend now. But I will be at Pianos on Sunday, 8:00 PM, No Cover. It is on Ludlow Street. It is a nice place. If you have been nice to me lately, you may come. If you have been mean, please stay home. I am literally dying to fish at this point. Best lazy sport ever! Nothing funny, once again.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1087404869726242182004-06-16T12:48:00.000-04:002004-07-01T14:51:14.196-04:00

Gosh darn it I'm not a doctor, I'm an ANGLER! Looks like I'll be coming up to Boston the weekend of June 26th to go surfcasting with my old pal Larry Murphy (who seems to be spending all the money from his cartoon show on fishing gear, which is better than spending all of his Bose money on Bose, which is what he used to do). I'll also be BBQ boy for my folks to celebrate a belated fathers

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1087230369296509122004-06-14T12:19:00.000-04:002004-06-14T12:26:09.296-04:00

Oh my lord did I bomb hard at Pianos last night. I made the women uncomfortable, got heckled repeatedly, and drove industry folks out of the room mid-set (in my defense, had I known they were there I would have tried a little harder). So this is my public apology to everyone involved! The plus side is that the only thing I did that worked at all was a new joke. So I've got that going for me

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1086640923175619462004-06-07T16:38:00.001-04:002004-07-01T16:55:32.146-04:00

Here is the first ad for the Regattabar Summer Comedy Series that I produce! It is going to run in the "Best Of" issue of Boston Magazine. Buy tickets NOW!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1086054499495158712004-05-31T21:38:00.000-04:002004-07-01T21:15:56.493-04:00

I am barely back from Holland but I have internet and photo access. What a country! Holland ain't too shabby either. Here are the photo highlights! Welcome to the land of wooden shoes! And flowers! They smell like bee food. They have to sell all these flowers somewhere. And these guys do the buying! They are like the investment bankers of Holland. If they lived in NY, they would

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1084998162072538652004-05-19T16:06:00.000-04:002004-05-19T16:22:42.073-04:00

OK, I am an asshole. I just have been very very busy lately and my readership is dropping! What was once upwards of tens of readers a day is now down to ten. This is my fault for being a bad blogger. But a busy boy is a bad blogger. So let's make up for it shall we because I will be going to Amsterdam this Friday and will be gone a whole week! I have never been to Europe so I am very

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1084318663380951062004-05-11T19:25:00.000-04:002004-05-11T19:37:43.380-04:00

I have been too lazy to update this thing and for that I apologize. Here are some very very mundane observations: - Air Conditioning sure is nice, and it sure is a surefire way to BEAT THE HEAT! - Can't beat a two dollar taco! - Mormons never try to convert me. - I challenge you to breakdance fight me, and I will be the victor, as long as you, sir, cannot breakdance at all. Not even a

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1083876253715078992004-05-06T16:44:00.000-04:002004-05-06T16:52:52.750-04:00

This just in! Looks as if I will have Todd Barry on the RegattaBar series! His show is currently scheduled for Tuesday, July 20th at the RegattaBar in the Charles Hotel. The showtime will likely be 8:30 PM. Todd is truly one of the ultimate comedy gods working today. He has really done it all and I am honored to have him up. This will be a very rare opportunity to see him in Cambridge!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1083788843809380862004-05-05T16:27:00.000-04:002004-05-05T16:32:01.340-04:00

Boy I had a lot of bad grammar in yesterday's entries. Is this bad grammar? I'm in a downward spiral here. So much to do, so little time. Gaaaaah!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1083708355489746572004-05-04T18:05:00.001-04:002004-05-04T18:09:37.576-04:00

Be sure to read the archives! Yes, amuse yourselves with my archives! Read them again for the very first time.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1083708306494594122004-05-04T18:05:00.000-04:002004-05-04T18:08:48.590-04:00

Well, updating my roomate's Mike's blog was pretty fun. It was fun because my blog sucks and his is good. It was also fun because he has "readers". In addition, it was fun because it is not the most horrible piece of garbage on the internet, that being this blog. Did I mention how awful this site is? Hey, I have absolutely no big news! What else... Oh wait, I do have some news I think...

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1083355691008831642004-04-30T16:08:00.000-04:002004-04-30T16:13:21.076-04:00

I'm taking over my roomates previously discussed blog while he is away for the weekend: http://www.thighswideshut.blogspot.com I have no idea how I convinced him to do this, but I will be sure to do a very poor job! Enjoy.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1082991672660339752004-04-26T11:01:00.000-04:002004-04-26T11:05:19.233-04:00

What a fun show at Pianos on Sunday! Come next time. It is fun. I eat oysters!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1082763450541569692004-04-23T19:37:00.000-04:002004-04-23T19:41:33.280-04:00

It may be a bit hack to say this... But I am watching Red Sox vs Yankees right now... and I am struck by the fact that the profound love and attachment I feel towards the old towne team is light years beyond anything that I have ever felt towards a woman... and this scares me. I think I am a baseballosexual. In fact I know I am, because I can sniff out other baseballosexuals in a crowd with

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1082581364451080832004-04-21T17:02:00.000-04:002004-04-21T17:06:44.733-04:00

I've been getting a lot of compliments about this site lately and I just want to thank you all! I haven't been this respected for my writing since my world famous 9th grade journal for Mr. McDonald's English class. Girls would borrow it to pass around during classes and both laugh at the works and marvel at the fact that I was getting A's with essays such as "Mall Girls: Hidden Agenda is

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1082401487295764412004-04-19T15:04:00.000-04:002004-04-19T15:08:44.793-04:00

A few orders of business... I will be appearing at Pianos on Ludlow Street this sunday. The show starts at 8:00 PM, no cover. I will close the show after a great sketch troupe named "The Whitest Kids You Know". They really put on a great show there and it is free and the food is good and the atmosphere is hip and the women are pretty. What more do you people want? I got our first star in

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1081285250460238112004-04-06T17:00:00.000-04:002004-04-06T17:04:30.920-04:00

Well, I called in sick today for like the first time ever at my NY job. I just woke up and it is 5:00 PM. I guess I needed the sleep. I probably should have called in sick last week, before I gave every single person in my office my cough. We all sound like a bunch of elephant seals. Best thing about living in NY, by the way, is any type of delivery any time of day. My bell just wrung and

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1081194756037493902004-04-05T15:52:00.000-04:002004-04-05T15:56:15.170-04:00

Hey all, going to be on at my friend James Patterson's show somewhere in New Jersey, at some point this evening. Hope that helps! I actually know it is called O'Donehugh's (sp?) in Hoboken. This guy Dan Sulman will be there, and if you remember my thread about New Years, this is the man who managed to ruin his friendship with me over steak sauce. We are on decent terms again, but he is always

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1081128719780720722004-04-04T21:31:00.000-04:002004-04-04T21:35:37.403-04:00

Hey losers. I was on VH1's Best Week Ever this week. I stated a couple of descriptive facts about the new Outkast video. Wasn't exactly a knee slapper, but luckily I looked very bloated. But I'm honestly psyched just to be on it at all. Definitely fun. So I think it will be on a few more times this week if you would like see it. This blog is as bad as ever. Yeeesh. Red Sox!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1080149438698470712004-03-24T12:30:00.000-05:002004-03-24T23:55:35.390-05:00

OK... let's see. Some news... I will be in Boston at The Comedy Studio this Saturday to make a very important tape. Please come and watch me. RegattaBar Summer Comedy Series II, at The Charles!!! Well folks, it is about that time again to get going on what I hope will become the premier yearly comedy event in Boston. Like The Comedy Studio, The Boston Comedy Festival, The Fringe Festival

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1077756004286520342004-02-25T19:40:00.000-05:002004-02-25T19:50:59.903-05:00

I forgot to mention to everyone/nobody that I am EXTREMELY HEALTHY!! Now to most of those that know me, this may be a surprise. First of all, I eat tacos every day, as was previously discussed. I am also on various medications which now include an inhaler. Popping pills all day and chasing them with puffs of Atrovent doesn't exactly scream Bruce Jenner. I was a very athletic youth, but at

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1077205603442324922004-02-19T10:46:00.000-05:002004-02-19T10:49:21.716-05:00

I met some lovely young ladies from Barcelona the other other night after a show. Viva Espana! I must say that that is pretty much the best thing about being a performer of any kind... meeting new and interesting people that you would never meet otherwise. So to my adorable cutie-pies from Spain, me gusta mucho! Querio jugar el football? The flip side of this is meeting scary and insane

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1075500463110107402004-01-30T17:07:00.000-05:002004-01-31T22:01:42.280-05:00

Hey blogonauts! Boy that is the geekiest thing that has ever come out of my fingers. Regardless, I am performing at Luna Lounge on Febuary 16th at Eating It. http://www.eatingit.net Why is this the first actual show I have mentioned on this thing? Because I am the only comedian on earth who is so ashamed of the state of stand up comedy that the thought of you having to suffer through the

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1073095209482504702004-01-02T21:00:00.000-05:002004-01-02T21:01:44.640-05:00

One other note... I am always surprised by the number of people who actually read this load of garbage... in that it is more than zero. So a quick new years thanks to all those who for some reason find me interesting. I like Indian Food!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1073094953498103822004-01-02T20:55:00.000-05:002004-01-02T21:03:24.610-05:00

Holy cow I actually had fun on New Years! New years has always absolutely sucked for me. I never seemed able to find any way to have any sort of "good time" on the night that is supposed to be about having a "good time". I tried it all. I tried the whole first night crap in Boston, which really really eats. So bad. There is like a hot dog stand and a guy selling glowing necklaces, while

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1071117608856262752003-12-10T23:40:00.000-05:002003-12-11T00:02:56.403-05:00

Ah yes, the Christmas season is upon us. It is times like these that I stop to reflect on the fact that the banner ad on this page is still advertising "Canned Goods Manufacturers". I like canned goods. I am a big proponent of canned green beans, and niblets. Both, I feel, are superior to their frozen counterparts. Their brothers. Their vegetable G-Unit. The frozen beans and corn... well,

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1070996770108213592003-12-09T14:06:00.000-05:002003-12-09T14:07:40.700-05:00

Drum roll please... I am an internet dater! Yes I have jumped into the world of cyber-meeting of ladies. Why would a man like myself, a former international super model, rising comedy star, and hero of the working class need to online date? Because it is the WAVE OF THE FUTURE! Yes indeed... it has moved from the sphere of LOTR dorks and Furries to my own personal sphere and let me tell you

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1069300033917467072003-11-19T22:47:00.000-05:002003-11-19T22:48:06.810-05:00

My goodness! It worked. Now it is advertising canned food. My goodness. Oh, and I talked to a French person recently.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1067992112123299102003-11-04T19:28:00.000-05:002003-11-06T22:31:35.750-05:00

HOLY CRAP! The banner ad at the top of the page has started to advertise burritos and tacos and shit. Check earlier posts and you will see that I mentioned such things. My word, the internet is truly amazing. Let's see what it does with this: Very very old canned goods from Slovakia or Yugoslavia. Extremely flacid prunes for purchase ASAP. Potato mind control and other sundries. Chachkes

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1065146562796372362003-10-02T22:02:00.000-04:002003-10-02T22:02:42.963-04:00

OK, now my blog seems to be about ethnic food and/or animals. Once again proving that you should stop reading it immediately. Oh the horror that is this garbage.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1065054261987676442003-10-01T20:24:00.000-04:002003-10-02T10:15:31.786-04:00

I eat tacos!! Seriously. I do. Every night for dinner. There is a taco truck outside my building called Sobre Ruedas which is translated on the sign as meaning "Super Taco" but one thing I've learned is to never, ever trust a Mexican taco-truck-sign-painter. This brings me to another issue that I hope to use the worst Blog in the history of the United States of Blogmerica to blather on

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1064621160483021032003-09-26T20:06:00.000-04:002003-09-26T20:06:00.586-04:00

I like Pizza!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1064621095075541602003-09-26T20:04:00.000-04:002003-09-26T20:04:55.196-04:00

Seriously, stop reading this. You must have something better to do. I am positive that there is at least one person reading this garbage. There has to be. If there is... call me. We'll go kayaking! TOTALLY X-TREME!!!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1063146361416045492003-09-09T18:26:00.000-04:002003-09-09T18:26:01.410-04:00

Well, I thought everyone was sick of me but it turned out all my friends were on vacation. Last weekend I was the most popular fuckface in town. My phone was ringing off the hook! I hung out with famous comedian friends, college friends, and really really unattractive women. The women thing still needs work. I'm going to try to figure out why I am too scared to go up to babes. I'm pretty

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1062124129180942332003-08-28T22:28:00.000-04:002003-09-26T20:07:12.680-04:00

I feel like I have been abandoned by everyone who has ever known me. I think they are sick of me. Maybe I am too over the top. Maybe I scare them. Maybe they hate me. I think they are just threatened by how wonderful I am!! (smiley face! smiley face!)

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1060976719696282902003-08-15T15:45:00.000-04:002003-08-15T15:45:18.260-04:00

So... yesterday was BLACKOUT '03!! I walked in the searing heat from 28th and 1st to 96th and West End. It took three hours. I was in dress shoes. I got yelled at by an angry for talking too long on the pay phone. I waited in line at a church to get free water. I met my neighbors. I drank wine on a roof deck. I slept covered in t-shirts I had soaked in cold water. I learned absolutely

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1060834295861240212003-08-14T00:11:00.001-04:002003-08-14T10:02:34.860-04:00

Yup. My blog still completely sucks. So, I ate Chinese food today. I ordered the special chicken that was bought at a Chinatown live poultry market and butchered right before my meal was cooked. I am not making this up. It was only four dollars more!! The dude was like, "Reee kill rour chirken right now in da back! Ree do rit for four dolla!!" I'm like, "Let's play ball, chop chop." I know

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1060834319447987662003-08-14T00:11:00.000-04:002003-08-14T10:02:20.966-04:00

My blog seems to be about animals.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1060660754165394082003-08-11T23:59:00.000-04:002003-08-11T23:59:13.980-04:00

Two posts in one day! Move over. I study adult, silver-backed Gorillas and I have their number. They believe in me, and I train them to manipulate public opinion about the baltic caviar trade. I make aging babushkas pack sevruga in the nude at gunpoint but the Gorillas are totally for it and Greenpeace won't touch a Gorilla argument. Put that in one of your articles, Sebastian Junger.

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-1060659858846102232003-08-11T23:44:00.000-04:002003-08-11T23:44:18.720-04:00

Hey, I got a job today. Good lord this blog is absolutely hilarious. I know you all, and by all I mean not a single human being on the face of this earth, have been waiting with tingly anticipation to read my second entry. Quite honestly, since my last entry in May, this job action is the only thing that has happened in my life worth mentioning. I love Japanese food!

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5371225.post-939852412003-05-08T08:05:00.000-04:002003-05-08T08:05:27.353-04:00

Hello Internet users watching at home and to the millions reading this around the world! I have a blog now, and that means that I am going to start posting things and links. I am hoping this will mean stuff. I am also hoping that things will happen. Good things. You never really know in this blog saturated world. But I think my blog has what it takes to make it to the top. The top of the

Danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06252283984508599951noreply@blogger.com